Gap Year? Took a Year Off, Came Back Wiser

[Indonesian Version]

When you hear the term gap year, what pops into your mind? For some, it might feel overwhelming, like it’s a sign we are not ready to face the fact that we cannot move on to higher education just yet. But for others, a gap year is seen as an opportunity to reflect, grow, and become better. No matter which way you see it, the most important thing is understanding that the ideals we have built up do not always match reality and this is something I have experienced firsthand. By sharing my story, I hope it gives us a new perspective or maybe even shifts the way we view a gap year, based on what I went through during that one year of my life.

Back in 2013, I faced the biggest transition in my life, I entered vocational high school (SMK). During my first year, I honestly had no clue what SMK was all about. My mindset was still stuck in middle school mode. Life was simple, I’d get pocket money from my parents, spend it on snacks at school, and then head home like any other student. But things took a turn in grade 11, and that year became a major turning point for me. I had to take a colorblind test, and the results showed I had partial colorblindness. It hit me hard, I was in disbelief. What made it worse was that I had already chosen the Multimedia program, where identifying colors is such a crucial skill. I felt completely lost. I knew I needed to make a change, but I did not know where to start.

Library (2016)

Over time, I found myself spending a lot of quiet moments in my room, thinking about what I could do to avoid being stuck without a purpose after graduation. That’s when a simple idea hit me "Why not start reading books from the school library? Maybe they’d help me figure out who I really was". That was the beginning of my love for personal development books. They gave me a boost of motivation to keep pushing forward and learn from the successes of others. One book that really left an impression on me was Be Super You by F. Gina Hajairin. It shared practical, positive life lessons that I could actually apply.

From there, I started to change. I began selling phone credit and even tried my hand at selling fruit chips. At some point, I realized how much I needed a laptop to take things further like watching English learning videos to improve my skills. But since thing was tight (the money), my parents could not afford one. Still, I was not about to give up. I downloaded tons of English lessons onto my phone, watched them one by one, and took notes in a notebook like I was in a class.

When I entered grade 12, reality started to hit me, I had to prepare myself for whatever came next, whether I was ready or not. As an only child from a modest family situation, I knew I had to keep improving myself. One of my main focuses was sharpening my English skills, knowing it would help me in finding a job after graduation. Toward the end of the school year, my parents were finally able to buy me a laptop, and I was beyond grateful. For the first time, I had my own computer at home, and it made learning English so much easier. But, as the year came to an end, I realized I was not mentally ready for what was ahead. I was not prepared to jump into the workforce that I wanted to go to college instead.

Taking a picture together with my English Teacher dan my classmates (2016)

After graduating from vocational school, I decided to take a shot at the National University Entrance Exam (SBMPTN) in 2016. I applied through the Bidikmisi scholarship program, so I made sure to prepare as much as I could. The exam was held at a vocational school in an urban area of Tasikmalaya, and I still remember the night before the test, my mom and cousin helped me check out the location, and their support really meant a lot to me.

The next morning, I got ready and traveled with them from our village to the city. When we arrived, I prayed and gave it my all, hoping that this could be my chance to continue my education. Once the test was over, I took a public transportation back home, feeling a mix of relief and nervousness.

A few months later, the results were announced. I logged in with so much hope, but when I saw the outcome, it turned out I did not pass. I would not be going to university that year. Of course, I was heartbroken. But after the initial disappointment, I knew I could not just sit around feeling sorry for myself. I had to make the most of the next year. So, here’s a quick rundown of what I did between June 2016 and June 2017 to keep moving forward.

Couchsurfing International Day 2016

1. My Plan to Hitchhike to Singapore

After finding out I did not pass the SBMPTN, I started making plans, not for work, though. I was not ready mentally, and honestly, I did not feel confident about myself. Around that time, I started dreaming about traveling. I wondered, could I pull it off with just courage and a little bit of money? 😂

Then, I came across a TEDx talk on YouTube called How to Travel the World with Almost No Money by Tomislav Perko. I was blown away by his story! He mentioned Couchsurfing as a way to find free places to stay while also making friends with people around the world. That idea really stuck with me. So, I checked out Couchsurfing, signed up, and became a member.

A few weeks later, I found out about an event to celebrate International Couchsurfing Day 2016 at Bareto Café in Tasikmalaya. I decided to go, even though it meant traveling all the way from my village to the city. It was actually my first time visiting a café, imagine this guy from a small village stepping into a city café, trying to expand his social circle. 😆

At the event, I met some amazing people, including Timon, a traveler from Argentina. We hit it off and ended up chatting for hours. Before the night ended, Timon told me she wanted to visit my village the next day. The next afternoon, she arrived at my house, accompanied by another Couchsurfing friend, A Fajar. After A Fajar left, she stayed the night at my place. We spent the evening exploring the village and talking about her travels. That night, my dream of seeing the world became even stronger.

From that moment, I started saving up and collecting the things I would need to go hitchhiking. Even though my pocket was so tight, I was determined to make it happen. By September 2016, I was set on hitchhiking all the way to Singapore. It was a crazy idea, sure, but I could not wait to give it a shot!

Guiding My German Friends (2016)

2. Becoming a Local Guide in My Own Village

So, how did I end up being a local guide? Here’s the story: After getting some positive feedback from her on the Couchsurfing, she referred me to other travelers. Not long after, I got a request from a traveler from Germany who wanted to stay a few nights, and I agreed. Over time, I started getting more and more positive responses and referrals.

I quickly realized that expanding my network like this would be super helpful if I ever traveled abroad. But was I getting paid for this? No, not at all. The whole point of the community is to help each other out with accommodation and to build connections with people from all over the world.

It also gave me a great opportunity to improve my English. I had already been used to speaking English, but it was mostly over the phone. Speaking face-to-face was a whole different thing. I felt nervous at times, especially when I had to speak directly with someone. But as I got more comfortable, I learned that the key is to just focus on understanding each other. Small mistakes with grammar or pronunciation? They’re not a big deal.

Learning English - Engvid (2016)

3. Improving My English and Picking Up Other Languages

I have always had a thing for this language, English. It’s been my favorite subject for as long as I can remember. After watching tons of educational videos on my phone for ages, I finally got to watch them on my laptop with a bigger, more comfortable screen. Honestly, that laptop became a game changer. It made life so much easier from storing files, backing up my phone, writing blog posts, until editing videos became a breeze.

But the best part? I started diving into a bunch of other languages and felt super confident about it. 😆 One day, while chatting with some friends from Poland, they told me I should really focus on one language at a time, instead of juggling a ton of them all at once.

So, in November 2016, I decided to go all-in on learning Italian. I started looking for Italian-learning channels. Why Italian? Honestly, it’s all about the food, the culture, and those beautiful landscapes in Italy! 😍 A few months later, I was starting to speak Italian more naturally and got a solid grip on the grammar. Slowly but surely, I began to see how English and Italian were different like how Italian has masculine and feminine nouns, while English does not. It helped me a lot when learning other languages, too. For example, when I took a look at Arabic, I realized that "Alif Lam" is pretty similar to the Italian "Il, La, Lo, Gli, Le, L', I" or the English with "The." Learning several languages made me appreciate how each one has its own special vibe.

My Laptop and I 😇 (2016)

4. Enrolling in MOOCs to Sharpen My Skills

During my gap year, my desire to continue my study was really strong. I knew I needed to build up the right skills to prepare for the next chapter of my education. So, I signed up for an online course on Coursera called Academic Skills for University Success. It taught me a lot, everything from how to do proper research to understanding what I would need to succeed at university.

My dream of continuing my study was becoming clearer, and after a lot of thought, I decided on pursuing a degree in English Education. Why? Because I have always loved English and the idea of teaching. I can still remember role playing as a teacher with my friends when I was younger, which made me realize this was the path I wanted to take.

I also took another course called Strategic Career Self-Management, which helped me reflect on what I wanted for my future. One thing I did was take a personality and career test called O*NET Online, which helped me understand myself better and think about where I could really make a difference.

All of this played a huge role in preparing me for the day when I was finally able to continue my study at a state university. Reflecting back, I can see how much I grew during that year. It was not always easy, but the lessons I learned were definitely worth it.

Pangandaran Beach (2016)

a) Gap Year: The Best Time for Self-Improvement

The biggest lesson I learned during my gap year was that it turned out to be one of the best gifts I could have got from Allah. Life’s challenges often seem tough in the moment, but looking back, I realize I had all this free time to learn and grow in ways I never imagined. The gap year gave me a clearer sense of direction and helped me understand who I truly am.

I have come to realize that many people, even as adults, still struggle with figuring out what they want or where they are headed. It made me think of life goals like planning a trip. For example, if my goal is to go to Bali, then Bali is my destination. No matter how far or complicated the journey, as long as I keep my focus on that goal, I will eventually get there. And even if something happens to me along the way, I know I will have lived fighting for my dream, not as someone who gave up. This is when I truly discovered The Power of Dreams.

My dad - the right one (2016)

Mom (2022)

b) Parents: The Most Valuable Treasure in This World

Wallahi, when I failed the SBMPTN, it felt like the world was crashing down around me. I could not see beyond my own flaws, and I felt like the most foolish person, destined to be stuck with no direction or opportunity ahead. I thought my dreams were over. As I mentioned earlier, I had this plan to go hitchhiking in September. At that time, it was my way of coping with the disappointment, my attempt to escape and prove to myself that I could still do something meaningful. I decided to take a risk and travel to Singapore, using the little savings I had and the travel gear I managed to gather. All I kept thinking was, "I deserve happiness, the world is huge, and there are endless opportunities out there. As long as I’m brave enough and not afraid to take risks, I’ll be okay." That was my mindset. But what made me feel even more determined was when I decided to email Tomislav Perko, the speaker I mentioned earlier, asking if someone like me could also hitchhike and travel the world like he did.

My Email to Tomislav Perko (2016)

When I think back to the email I wrote, I cannot help but feel emotional. I was in such a dark place back then, and I honestly did not think I would ever be where I am today. I went through so much pain, especially the judgment I faced from others about my gap year at the time.

So, how does all this connect to my parents? Well, September was approaching, and one evening, as I was getting my things ready for the trip, I sat down with my parents in the living room, and I told them, “Mom, I’m grown now. The world is big, and I need to explore it. I cannot just stay here. Whether we meet again or not, who knows, but thank you for raising me and supporting me all this time.” My mom was heartbroken and started crying. I did not know what to do. I spent the rest of the night crying too, unsure of my next move. But I realized that if I left with my parents’ sadness weighing on me, it would only lead to trouble on my journey.

My First Backpack (2016)

The next morning, I decided to cancel my hitchhiking plans. I knew I needed to rethink everything, to figure out what I really wanted for my future. That’s when I started to truly connect with myself, to understand who I was and what I could do. I came to terms with my situation and became grateful for everything in my life, especially the sacrifices my parents had made for me. They had supported me through every attempt at SBMPTN, even going to great lengths to find ways for me to get into university. I could not stand seeing them struggle for me, so I made a promise to myself to keep pushing forward, not just for me, but for them too. I can never fully repay their kindness, but now I had the clarity and the motivation to keep going, because of them. 😇

SBMPTN Form 2017

c) Patience: The Sustenance Will Never Be Misplaced

One of the most important lessons I have learned is to trust that rezeki (sustenance) will never be misplaced. Back then, I struggled to believe it. I remember one of my SMK teachers asking me, “How was your SBMPTN result?” I answered, “I did not pass, ma’am,” and she replied, “That’s okay, it’s just not your time yet. Be patient.” Her words honestly stung a little. 😅 Was it really that simple?

In 2017, I decided to try again. This time, I approached the SBMPTN with a different mindset. I was not overly hopeful and chose to focus on doing my best while accepting whatever the outcome might be. My mom accompanied me to the city for the test, which was held at one of the high schools there. After the exam, I took a public transportation back, and my mom met me at Pasar Cikurubuk. On my way home, I stared out the window, thinking, “All these people are fighting for the same thing I am. Can I really stand out among so many?”

On my way home after SBMPTN - Tentara Pelajar street (2017)

The result of SBMPTN 2017

A few months later, the announcement day arrived. That evening, I was at my cousin’s house, chatting with them, and casually mentioned that the SBMPTN results would be out that night. “Hopefully, I’ll pass,” I said, though deep inside, I was bracing for disappointment. 😅

When I got home, I went straight to my room and opened my laptop to check the results. I logged onto the website, feeling resigned and expecting a repeat of last year’s outcome. 😏 But when I saw the screen, alhamdulillah, I could not believe it, I had been accepted into my first-choice PTN! My mom was so happy when I shared the news, and at that moment, I finally understood the truth behind my teacher’s words. Everything really does come down to patience, timing, and relentless effort. The sustenance will never be misplaced, it’s already written by Him in Lauhul Mahfudz. 😊

Group work at the university where I studied (2018)

d) Preparation Is Everything

One of the biggest lessons I have learned is that preparation really is everything. Looking back, everything I did during my gap year turned out to be incredibly meaningful. All the skills and knowledge I built during that time made a huge difference in my academic life, especially when I started attending classes.

As I mentioned earlier, I chose to major in English Education, and having a solid foundation in English was a must. Thanks to the time I spent improving my language skills during the gap year, I did not have to stress as much about keeping up in class. Honestly, if I had started college in 2016, I would have felt far less confident and less equipped. It’s amazing how God’s timing works, it may not make sense in the moment, but everything falls into place when you look back.

The courses I took during my gap year, especially those focused on preparing for university life, were also a big help when I started college. Even now, I am still exploring online learning platforms like MOOCs to keep growing. If there is one thing this experience taught me, it is that education is more accessible than we think. There is so much knowledge available online for free, all we have to do is take the time to find what aligns with our passions and goals.

That’s the story of what I did during my gap year, along with the reflections and lessons I have learned along the way. At the end of the day, we need to trust that God has a plan for us, a plan that unfolds in the best way possible, as long as we stay consistent in doing the right things. A gap year is not something to be ashamed of, nor should it make us lose hope. In fact, a gap year is an opportunity to create moments that will shape the story of our future. Whether that story turns out to be good or not depends on what we choose to do today. Everyone has their own unique journey, and right now, you, yes, YOU are shaping yours too. Wishing you all the best on your journey! 😎